Realizations

TGIF everyone! Hope you all had a good week so far and have an ever better weekend. I can’t wait because tomorrow I am going on vacation for the week with the famslam 🙂 I can already hear the beach callin’ my name 😉 I love this vacation because we go away with my cousins and their cousins and their friends and it is just one full week of beach and FUN!!

But before I leave I will leave you with a food filled post along with a realization I had this past week at the end of this post!
 
  
BARNEY BUTTER ALMOND BUTTER CRUNCHY! This AB tastes just like peanut butter but even better because it is made from almonds. I just love the taste and texture and that it is a no-stir or oil separation and loveee that it has great chunks of roasted almonds in each bite 🙂  

 

 
 
 
more AB yog messes of course. I just can’t get away from this AB!

 
 
AB & Strawberry Yogurt mess! Fage 2%, Multi Grain Cheerios, banana, strawberry, and AB.

 
I bought the Siggi’s Blueberry yogurt awhile back and finally tried it this morning and wow…holy TART! This yogurt was veryyy sweet tasting which I really did not like at the beginning. I guess this is just a change from my plain greek yogurt! I got used to the tartness once I started to eat but overall I thought it was just okay. I liked the Vanilla flavor the best so far and will have to try the other flavors as well.
  
  
I definitely have been eating lots of bars for snacks lately. I guess you could just call me “the bar girl.” Well, actually now that I think about that I take it back 😉 I just like bars for snacks because there is such a wide variety of them which come in soo many flavors and are very convenient which I like because I tend to be always out and on the go!
 
 
Mocha Chip Balance Bar

 
*Not to self* Do not bring bars containing chocolate outside with you an hour prior to eating or else you will get a nice melted bar. I mean I really didn’t mind licking the excess chocolate off the inside wrapper (TMI? Oh well!). But I do mind the fact that I kept having to check myself out in the mirror of my iPhone to make sure I didn’t have chocolate smeared all over my face in public!
 
 
Cookie Dough Balance Bar. I am really lovin’ these bars lately and If you haven’t noticed but I tend to get on little hiatus’ with bars. Once I try them I will have them for like a week straight and then go onto a new bar. Hah. But lately I have been trying to switch it up!
 
 
  
Cashew Cookie Larabar (just okay!)

 
Carrot Cake Larabar was good!
 

Buffalo turkey & american cheese on wheat bread, Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies, and a pear. This past week at the grocery store my mom bought this new buffalo turkey and OMG it is so so good! It has a nice spicy kick to and overall I just love it. I think I have a new love to spicy and hot foods! They just take food to a whole new level.

 
Ham & cheese sandwich, pretzels, and an apple.
Of course like I said above I have been having lots of bars for snack lately…need I say more?!

 
 
 
 

Dinner last night was a cheeesburger with all the fixings and some of my mom’s pasta salad!
 
So like I have probably said before on my blog but if you haven’t heard me talk about it I will now. In high school I was a 3 sport varsity athlete in soccer, basketball, and lacrosse. Although my favorite out of the 3 sports was by far LACROSSE 😉 I started playing when I was in seventh grade and I absolutely loved it ever since. I also played club lacrosse all through out high school and then go recruited to play Division II college lacrosse. Lacrosse is such a cool fun sport that is different from others and is new and up incoming!

My family is very involved in sports. Sports will and always be a big part in my life. I just find that playing or watching sports is fun! My dad is a super sports fanatic, while my mom is the director of girls lacrosse in my town and my two younger sisters play field hockey, basketball, and lacrosse. We are a very busy family and always on the go, either at practices, games, or tournaments.
 
But with all of that said this past week got me really thinking a lot about my past and what ED has robbed me of and most of all how much I really do miss lacrosse 😦 I will be completely honest with you, when I was real deep in my ED I could care less about pretty much anything and didn’t care that I completely gave up and lost my athletic scholarship to play DII lacrosse.

This summer has been pretty tough for me but definitely motivational in a way. Since it is the summertime, my younger sister has had many lacrosse tournaments which I have gone to watch her play! Going to her tournaments has brought back sooo many memories of being playing the sport I loved and this was quite emotional for me. I would just remember all of the fun times I had together with my friends and teammates and just the overall feeling I got when I played. Just seing my sister and all of these other girls playing lacrosse was hard for me to watch knowing that I WAS once before one of them playing lacrosse and it kills me now to think about it.
 
Last week my sister went to a lacrosse camp at a local college nearby where the college girls on the Division I lacrosse team were the counselors. When I went to watch my sister at camp I noticed all of the college girls there at the camp who were just so healthy and happy looking and made me want to be just like them again. I mean I once WAS one of them before so I know I can be like that again. A healthy and happy athletic college lacrosse girl 🙂 I noticed that NONE of the girls were stick skinny but they all had healthy weight on them and were in great shape, fit and toned. It was a HUGE eye-opener for me and I cam to realize that you are not considered “fat” when you play sports (that is just ED telling me so)…you are considered HEALTHY and that is what I want to be!!
 

 

I realized ED has stolen one thing I really loved playing and had a true passion for and now I am going to get it BACK! I know this is ONE HUGE goal I am setting for myself but it is definitely something I want back into my life that I have missed so much. I am up for this challenge and I am so ready to keep moving forward and in the right direction in recovery which is just one more step closer to playing lax on the field once again!
 

 
Now I am off to get packing to set out on vacation! Have a great weekend 🙂
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13 thoughts on “Realizations

  1. Hi Jenna!I totally relate to how you feel about lacrosse and how it is motivating you to feel differently about food. I used to get so mad at myself for allowing ED to rob me of being able to dance for so many years…years that I will never get back. Dance has been my biggest motivation for why I need to eat my food to have strength and energy. Whenever I feel too "fat" to eat, I remind myself that strong dancers need their energy from food. I hope that you will be able to play lacrosse again! Remember, we are still really young and have plenty of strong, healthy years ahead of us to be the athletes that we certainly can be. Rock on, Jenna!-Emily

  2. Thanks so much for sharing your "sports story!" I didn't know it 100%! I'm glad you told us 🙂 I hope you get back to playing you favorite sport!<3 jessxoxo

  3. Hi Jenna, In some ways its good that u can see what u r missing out on so that u can be motivated into getting back into it y'know? im sure if i had dance classes in my face every day i would be the same, and thats not a bad thing! enjoy ur break away, u deserve it, ur doing great.xoxox

  4. i luv barney butter!!! ur very right about ur realization and im really glad to hear you actually WANT to be one of those girls now! have a fun week and take loads of pics! ps i luved the pic of ur cousin drinking olive juice lol cracked me up:-)

  5. I must find that almond butter!!! Where did ya pick it up??Thanks for sharing your story! The more realizations you have means the closer you are to 100% kicking your ED to the curb! I think it's great you want to play again. I'd give anything to play soccer and lacrosse again.Have a great night sweetie!XOXOX,Lauren

  6. Jenna- I think this is awesome!! I'm the same way with cycling/backpacking. That's such great motivation! And I'm so glad to hear that Jenna is taking over what you want to do again!Hold on to this and Good luck hun<3Adi

  7. i think its great that you are looking forward to becoming involved in sports and lacross again! i can tell that you are seeing a whole new version of yourself and who you want to be in your head and that's awesome 🙂

  8. I have never been a huge sports fan (because I kind of suck….) but I have been doing some kayaking lately and it is actually really motivating knowing that my body actually has the strength to do it now. LAX is a great goal to work toward. Always have to be aware of doing a healthy amount of exercise….. its easy to get a little obsessed, I find.You sound like you are doing so great!

  9. Oh man – I have just discovered the mocha chip Balance bars and I LOVE them. True though, they don't do well in the summer heat:(

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